Gay dating advice first date

Take it as a compliment; do not take it as a reason to pick up the check. Unless he can juggle or tap dance in bed, "versatile bottom" means only one thing, so be prepared to take charge if things go well. If you're lying when you call yourself a "versatile top," either call it quits now or start working on your oral communication skills.

We're not all about hook ups.

If he insists on taking "important calls" several times during your date, don't automatically think he's blowing you off. In today's complicated world, he might be calling work, his sitter, or his ex-wife to see if she can pick up the kids. Chill out, and use the time to call your sponsor for encouragement.

In the old days, it was common, and common sense, to say that, if you sleep with someone, you are also sleeping with everyone he's slept with. Nowadays, it's common sense to remember that, if you sleep with someone who's in a Step program, you are also sleeping with everyone in his Home Group. Be prepared to be judged by all the members of the orgy. If you've met the guy online and have never met in person, and if his entire chat so far has been about how amazingly hot you are and how amazingly much he's into you and how he's quite certain you're the guy for him, he will hate you within 20 minutes of your date and you will never hear from him again.

If you request an explanation, he will call you a stalker and block you from any social media sites you might share. While it's nice to have a grasp of current events and knowledge of local culture, it's no longer a first-date pre-requisite. I do realize there's a "disclaimer," as I said, but given your emphasis on not only that but a few other things I found honestly to be ridiculous.

I don't say this to insult you though in fairness you did insult me , I say this to inform you that not all men who love men are the same, and that's the real tragedy of gay culture in general and this article which ironically I find you as a writer to be contradictory in fault: I pass with flying colors all the time, until they find out I care for someone else's happiness more than my own's. Supposedly that's what everyone searching for love is looking for- a selfless loving guy. Perhaps that's the ultimate irony of not only my dating experiences but this article.

This list could also apply to men and women dating. Your flags are very red flags -- crimson: Well Ben and Ken maybe you're the same person? I don't think it is any stretch when I observe that you hate republicans and you have systematically avoided the central question to my rebuttle.

By so doing, it's also obvious that you prefer cheap smears and name calling to reasoned debate. In the early days of the struggle for our equality, activists knew that silence equals death. They knew the way forward required that we communicate what we wanted, needed and why. Because of Ken and Ben twin brothers, maybe? Mark Steyn understands this In the march for equality, we all have a role to play! I cannot see how equality can be achieved while this community harbors such divisions.

10 Red Flags That Gay Men Can’t Ignore on a First Date

We cannot move forward while leaving Republicans behind. Great article! Shared with some friends. I see you caught the attention of the wingers because one has appeared on your commentary board. What a judgmental and hetero-normative screed! Have you thought that someone just wants a long-term fuck bud? Or to get laid after a relationship is actually therapeutic?

17 Practical Gay Dating Tips for the New Age | HuffPost

You still failed to answer the central question to my rebuttle, "If a gay Republican is not worthy of love and acceptance and collectively the community represented in this article rejects all gay republicans, is that community worthy of love and acceptance from the gay republican or his broader community, the GOP?

To put it in terms that you might understand, the absence of love is hate, so wasn't the article, in some part, really about hate and the prejudices of the author to begin with? I loved the article and thought you hit all of the important points. Yes, there are generalizations but in an article like this I would expect that. At least he put something out there for gay men and first dates and not the usual crap we see around the Internet.

10 Gay First Date Tips That Should Be Obvious!

I read the ignorant and hostile remark made by Herman Nilsson and just about puked. Hollywood is saying IF a guy says he is "straight acting" and pretends or denies that he is gay, then the guy is engaging in internalized homophobia. I did not read Mr, Hollywood said republicans or anyone else could not be loved. And how can a person truly love another if they don't love themselves first. If a gay man supports rabidly anti-gay candidates, that says a lot about who they are.

It's like a black person supporting political candidates who support a "southern strategy" or latinos supporting candidates who are anti-Hispanic. For the record, I once dated a man just like this. It was terrible. He constantly made cracks against fellow gays, bragged how he supported like Rick Santorum and make sure he went to chic-fillet so that people would see the cup he was drinking out of.

He was one of the most self-loathing gay men I have ever met. Not sure how long the author will let the hateful post Nillson stay up because it looks like someone is trying to flame the discussion. I just wanted to be a voice here to push back against a political troll. I dated a guy who was and never saw him again. I pondered whether to make this post for the last day, but it has to be said - this post describes perfectly why Republicans should hate gays. The advice in this article is reasonable, until you get to item 7 - he says he's straight acting, and another point is, "He identifies as a die hard republican and supports anti-gay candidates.

Face it, gays come in all shapes, sizes, creeds, cultures and even political persuasions. In fact, gays have been out and organizing within the Republican Party for more than 35 years through the Log Cabin Republicans. There are so many reasons why a gay would consider involving themselves in the GOP, would choose to organize in support of equality inside of the Republican Party and would strongly support a Republican Candidate - even one that you might consider to be anti-gay.

For example, the "Give a Damn" campaign contrasts gay rights with the plight of starving kids in the third world and demands that if the picture of two men kissing on the left shocks you more than a picture of starving kids on the right you need to revise your view on immorality. What the author is suggesting in this article is that a gay republican is somehow not worthy of his love and acceptance, and continues to counsel that that a gay republican is not worthy of your love acceptance.

This of course begs the question, "If a gay Republican is not worthy of love and acceptance and collectively the community represented in this article rejects all gay republicans, is that community worthy of love and acceptance from the gay republican or his broader community, the GOP?

Anyone who finds it silly must see themselves somewhere in 1 to 10 - if not in all of them! I think many could relate having dated with someone from each of these, if not numerous in one person!


  • The 20 Stages Of A First Date Between Two Gay Guys.
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  • 10 Red Flags That Gay Men Can’t Ignore on a First Date | PairedLife;

Mister Hollywood you rocked it with this article and hit all of the points I have messed up on over the years. Thanks man! I thought this was a pretty good article, except for the frequent use of the word "Run! You don't have to run. You can walk away calmly. I just want to know who kisses someone while looking into their eyes.


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In my experience, people usually keep their eyes closed when kissing. Staring at each other that close would make you look cross-eyes to say the least. It's hard to get to know someone if they can't be present. I especially love the reference to bars because it shows a preoccupation with drinking. And as a recovering alcoholic myself, I remember dating only a few months in and it was a disaster.

I was still in an absolute cloud, and became utterly obsessed with the guy.

Gay First Date Tips - Dos & Don'ts!

In a way HE became my drug. And of course it didn't work out and of course I was devastated.